Dad Jokes

Exercises, quizzes, questions and answers related to English classes (Elementary School)
Beiträge: 16
Registriert: Do 19. Mär 2020, 19:35

Dad Jokes

Beitrag von S979 »

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

Can February March? No, but April May!

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.